I was very fortunate to be given a ticket to watch the stage show, People, Places & Things at Trafalgar Theater in London on Friday 3rd May 2024. All I knew was that it was a play about an addict that goes to rehab. I could relate to that so I was eager to go. I left the theater and cried.
I was very fortunate to be given a ticket to watch the stage show, People, Places & Things at Trafalgar Theater in London on Friday 3rd May 2024.
All I knew was that it was a play about an addict that goes to rehab. I could relate to that so I was eager to go. I left the theater and cried.
I could really relate to the main character Emma. Like Emma I have not endured any horrific episodes while growing up. No sexual abuse, no violent abuse. I grew up in an exceptionally loving family. Mum and Dad who are still happily married. One brother, married with two children. I had a good education to A level standard. Had a full time job for 27 years. I now own my own home with my husband. We have been married for 30 years.
I have always felt exceptionally guilty for not having an awful reason for becoming an alcoholic. I have attended AA and Forward Connect meetings and listened to horrific accounts of people’s experiences which has resulted in their alcohol addiction.
Following 27 years of working for the Departments of Work and Pensions I left. I had been absent from work on long term sickness with stress. My drinking levels had increased exponentially, before and after work. I knew I could not return to that job. Basically, I cared too much. My main objective at work was to decrease the benefit register. This was done by finding clients employment, imposing sanctions for non compliance or hounding them so much they simply left the register.
Not only was I trying to help clients at work but I felt my husband's health was also my responsibility. He is a type 1 diabetic and he had lost the ability to know when his blood sugar levels were on the decline. Therefore I had to constantly address low blood sugar levels which could, if left untreated, result in coma or death.
Everyone else’s needs came before mine, I am a compassionate empathist. I needed to eliminate everyone’s problems from my mind. Drinking alcohol was the answer. If my mind was numb I couldn’t care so, I drank and drank. I was no longer in control.
In time, I realised that if I continued drinking the quantity of alcohol I was, I would die. So I stopped, and like Emma, I suffered the trauma of detox. I did not know this was so dangerous. The result was that I had an alcohol withdrawal fit and broke my shoulder.
I ended up in hospital, where my alcohol withdrawal was managed appropriately.
This is where my recovery journey started. I accepted that I had reached my rock bottom. I have learnt that alcoholism is not a problem you can solve, it is there all the time. As the play said alcoholism has to be treated one day at a time, death only has to win once.
The objective of my recovery is to live a full life in spite of being an alcoholic in recovery. Without alcohol, I had no idea who I was. I felt like I was meeting me for the first time and, somehow, getting to know me.
Acceptance has now become the foundation of my being. I know I cannot drink alcohol. The rewards for my abstinence have been overwhelming. I volunteer at the Oxfam bookshop, I joined Folkestone Film Club with my dad. How many recovering alcoholic 53-year-olds get to go to the cinema with their dad every week? I participate in 5 recovery meetings each week.
My recovery has been welcomed immensely by my family. In their words I have exceeded their wildest dreams. This has replaced the constant anguish of waiting for the call informing them that I had died.
However, my husband’s family has reacted just like Emma’s parents did, expecting a return to old behaviours. They do not want any contact with me. I have accepted this.
I think the ending of the play was very appropriate and honest. Even though I wanted to know that Emma’s life was going to be ok, as recovering alcoholics we know that we have to live life on life’s terms, minus alcohol, one day at a time.
Thanks to Forward Trust and my unwavering desire for recovery, I now lead a very simple, but overwhelmingly wanted life that I am very grateful for.
On a final note I think that if everyone on the planet was in accepted recovery, the world would be a better place to live in.
People, Places and Things is now on tour at the Trafalgar Theatre, London.